July 4th, 2009
sad again
I know what I don't want, but I don't know what I want.
I am here, because I have to be here. I just don't want to be here.
This is so frustrating.
It's like I'm making my life miserable on purpose.
Suddenly time is slowing down; like fate is making me savor every minute of this hell of a life I chose.
When will I stop this drama? When can I write happy things again?
It's easy to put up a fake smile, but it's very hard to put up a real one unless it's sincere.
I'm not happy. No I'm not.
This is really frustrating.
Lord, I trust in your plans for me. I will be still know you are GOD.